Kapag ginoogle mo yung pangalan mo sana makita mo to. Sana mabasa mo. Sana, ewan ko. Puro sana.
Bwiset ka kahit kailan. Pinasakit mo lang yung ulo ko sa pagkakaibigan natin. Nakakainis ka. And I’m blaming you again. Fuck.
First things first. I hate you. Seriously. No, I’m lying. I don’t know. Ugggh! Ano ba. Uhm, honestly, I don’t know what to feel about you anymore. Tangina ka nakakaconfuse e. ganto, break down na lang natin yung nararamdaman ko ha.
Bihira ako magalit. Mainis, madalas. But anger? Very rare. I’m angry at you. Was. Cause you’re a pussy. You couldn’t even tell it to my face that you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. She made you choose right? Should’ve at least had the decency to tell me something, right? Kesa yung iniwan mo ko sa ere?
3? 4? years down the drain. You were my bestfriend. You understood me. You pick me up when I’m down. You always know the right words to say and you are a freaking million miles away from me! How do you even do that?! Nakakainis ka. Sobrang nakakainis ka.
I cried over this. I lost a vital person in my life. I lost my bestfriend and I didn’t even know why. Sobrang nangangapa ako sa dilim. Nasanay ako na lagi kang andyan kaya nung onti-onti kang lumalayo, onti-onti din akong nawala. Kasi di ko alam kung ano yung nangyayare.
Hans, after all that I’ve said up there, still, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. Cause i kept blaming you for the pain I felt. I haven’t even thought about how you felt that time. Why you did what you did. I haven’t given a shit about the impact of this to you. I’m sorry. Ang selfish ko. I blamed everything on you. I was blinded by the pain and confusion of everything that was happening, that I’ve forgotten to be your bestfriend. I forgot to think about you and understand you. I’m sorry.
I’m assuming things, of course. These assumptions are made thinking that our failed friendship affected you as much as it did to me. But, I know she made you choose. And you’ve made your choice. I don’t know your reasons and I don’t know if I want to listen to them, anymore. I just want to be free from you. From all of this.
So this is me, pouring my heart out yet again. And hopefully, this is the last time. Thank you for everything. I have learned a lot from the years that we had shared. I hope you have a good life. Goodbye.